智慧书

序号	标题	中文	英文
233	233	233．不要误解他人的品味不要误解他人的品味。有人试图赢得别人的好感，却表现得惹人讨厌，这是因为他们不了解对方的性格。同样一件事，有人当它是奉承，有人当它是侮辱。你觉得帮了别人的忙，人家却感觉受到了冒犯。有时候，稍费心思，讨好别人比惹恼别人来得容易些。当你为讨好别人而开始觉得失去了方向的时候，你已经失去了别人的感激并因礼多而招人怪罪。如果你不了解他人的性格，你就无法使其感到满意，正因为如此，有些人自以为在奉承别人，却被人当成了侮辱：这实在是咎由自取。别人认为他们是在赞美我们时，我们却会感觉灵魂受到了闲言碎语的骚扰。	233 Let not the proffered Morsel be distasteful; otherwise it gives more discomfort than pleasure. Some displease when attempting to oblige, because they take no account of varieties of taste. What is flattery to one is an offence to another, and in attempting to be useful one may become insulting. It often costs more to displease a man than it would have cost to please him: you thereby lose both gift and thanks because you have lost the compass which steers for pleasure. He who knows not another’s taste, knows not how to please him. Thus it happens that many insult where they mean to praise, and get soundly punished, and rightly so. Others desire to charm by their conversation, and only succeed in boring by their loquacity.
234	234	234．如果你将自己的名誉托付给了别人，就要让他以名誉为抵押对你们二人来说，讲话太多将受到惩罚与保持沉默将带来好处的告诫是一样有效的。一旦事关名声，大家的利益就是一致的：为了自己的名声而要去注意保护别人的名声。最好不向别人透露秘密；一旦吐露，则要将事情安排妥当，让听取秘密的人谨慎小心。只有休戚相关，才能利害与共，而你的知己，也不至于用你自己的秘密来对付你。	234 Never trust your Honour to another, unless you have his in Pledge. Arrange that silence is a mutual advantage, disclosure a danger to both. Where honour is at stake you must act with a partner, so that each must be careful of the other’s honour for the sake of his own. Never entrust your honour to another; but if you have, let caution surpass prudence. Let the danger be in common and the risk mutual, so that your partner cannot turn king’s evidence.
235	235	235．知道该如何求人有的事情对一些人来说难如登天，在另一些人看来却易，问反掌。有些人生来不会说"不"，对这样的人，你不必用任何手段与心机。另外一些人却习惯说"不"，这样你就得费些力气。与这类人交往，要选择合适的时机。除非对方警觉异常并看穿了你的意图，一定要在他们心情愉快、灵魂与肉体都觉得惬意的时候提出请求。快乐的日子是人乐于施恩的时候，因为快乐是自内向外放射的。如果你看到已经有人遭到拒绝，就千万不要往前凑了。"不"字一旦出口，再说起来便会毫无顾忌。而且，你也不会从那个伤心的人那儿得到任何东西。让别人先欠你的情是为上策，除非那人卑鄙下流，知恩而不图报。	235 Know how to Ask. With some nothing easier: with others nothing so difficult. For there are men who cannot refuse: with them no skill is required. But with others their first word at all times is No; with them great art is required, and with all the propitious moment. Surprise them when in a pleasant mood, when a repast of body or soul has just left them refreshed, if only their shrewdness has not anticipated the cunning of the applicant. The days of joy are the days of favour, for joy overflows from the inner man into the outward creation. It is no use applying when another has been refused, since the objection to a No has just been overcome. Nor is it a good time after sorrow. To oblige a person beforehand is a sure way, unless he is mean.
236	236	236．将报答转化为施恩将报答转化为施恩是精明之策。施人以恩比酬人之功显得高贵，及时的帮忙更会使你善名远播。不待请求而提前施予人帮助，会使受助者感受到更为沉重的义务。另外，义务可以转化为感激之情。这种转化是很微妙的；最初是你在偿还债务，后来债务却转到了债主的头上。这只适用于有教养的人；对于元赖来说，提前支付的酬金是一种制约，而非鼓励。	236 Make an Obligation beforehand of what would have to be a Reward afterwards. This is a stroke of subtle policy; to grant favours before they are deserved is a proof of being obliging. Favours thus granted beforehand have two great advantages: the promptness of the gift obliges the recipient the more strongly; and the same gift which would afterwards be merely a reward is beforehand an obligation. This is a subtle means of transforming obligations, since that which would have forced the superior to reward is changed into one that obliges the one obliged to satisfy the obligation. But this is only suitable for men who have the feeling of obligation, since with men of lower stamp the honorarium paid beforehand acts rather as a bit than as a spur.
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